Abdication
by Allora Gale
Summary: He really was Kira. L had been right all along. Light was the most depraved criminal on the earth and after planning L's downfall months ago, he suddenly realized he's reluctant to kill the detective. Now, how to outwit his own faultless plan?
1. Chapter 1 Epiphany

**Abdication**

**A Death Note Fanfiction**

**By Allora Gale**

Chapter 1

Epiphany

Light Yagami felt sick. Sick to his very core and not only from the sudden nauseating rush of memories returning to him after long months of absence. Not only by the presence of a shinigami. Not only by the sight of the pitiful man who knelt on the pavement a few meters away, handcuffed and blindfolded. Not only by the familiar smooth texture of the Death Note's cover in his hand.

Kira.

_I really __**am**__ Kira._

The thought made him want to vomit all over the front of the helicopter. He was a despicable mass murderer. He was a criminal. He deserved the same death he had reigned down on so many others. In fact, he was worse than they were. He was worse than those few first names he'd written into the notebook; the names of the worlds most depraved felons. And he'd thought he was a god? That he was righteous? That he was divinely suited to judge and condemn the wicked?

He had always been incredibly arrogant. He knew that. It stemmed from his abnormally expansive mental capacity. Light was a genius, there was no two ways about. The old adage sprung to his mind unbidden; there's a fine line between genius and madness.

Oh, he had definitely gone mad. He was clearly insane. The horrible part was that his vaunted intelligence enabled him to diagnose himself. He was a megalomaniac with delusions of godhood. No, he was completely crazy and it scared him that he couldn't pinpoint just when he'd crossed the line – when had he gone from genius student to atrociously insane? It was possible it had happened even before the Death Note had fallen into his hands. Why else would he use it? Why else would he come up with such an extravagant, idealistic and utterly idiotic plan for world domination?

Kill off all the criminals and everyone will be nice to each other?

_You really are some kind of stupid, Light._

Depravity was a part of human nature. He knew this. Taking care of all the criminals wouldn't create world peace. It would create a reign of terror fraught with secret underground resistances. And crime wouldn't stop either. It would just find shadier alleyways to take place in.

Yes, then. He fully admitted to himself that he was mistaken. The Kira plan was grossly flawed. He had been corrupted by his own power. It wasn't really even about creating a utopia anymore. Ever since the Lindt L. Tailor incident, his primary objective had been destroying L. L. A law enforcement figurehead. Someone he was supposed to look up to with awe and appreciation. L was one of the few people who were actually doing something about the state of the world, using his incredible deductive ability to put more criminals behind bars than any other detective in the last century.

L, who was sitting next to him in the helicopter watching him out of the corner of his eye with that familiar glint of suspicion.

L, who was going to die if he didn't do something to prevent it.

A roiling ball of lead settled in his stomach as he fought down his nausea again. Oh, he was a brilliant tactician, wasn't he? He was able to lay down plans, to predict movements like it was no one's business. He was _too _smart. He had laid his plans down months ago and they were as ironclad as he had hoped them to be. Unstoppable. It was like watching a train chugging relentlessly down it's track right off a ledge into a gaping chasm. He hadn't left himself an out. He hadn't thought it would be necessary.

After all, L was his enemy, wasn't he? Why on earth would he not want to kill the only viable threat standing between him and ruling the world with mass terrorism? But that had all been before his incarceration. That had been before Light had been chained to the detective 24 hours a day for several months. That had been before he had discovered just how well he got along with L – with Ryuzaki. How much he generally liked him. How much he respected him.

And he had planned every possible variable of the man's death, except for the possibility that he would want him to live. Yes, Light Yagami – Kira – wanted L to live. It probably would have sent anyone else to their knees with the shock of it. As it was, Light was numb.

He wanted L to live. He wanted his . . . possible friend to survive this investigation. Now, he just needed to outsmart himself. It wouldn't be an easy task. He knew himself. He knew he was meticulous and, with the return of his memories, he realized just how meticulous he had been. He needed to ignore his nausea. He needed to _think_.

First things first, he needed to obtain ownership of the notebook. He _needed_ his memories. Without them, L would surely test the thirteen day rule and die. He needed to prevent that from happening. In order to do that, he would have to understand the consequences of letting L test the notebook. Therefore he needed to somehow wrest control of the notebook from Higuchi. After all, he couldn't just hold on to this notebook forever.

It seemed unlikely that he would be able to get close enough to Higuchi to tell him to relinquish control of the notebook. If Rem had bothered to tell him any of the rules, and if Higuchi wasn't a complete idiot, he would know that the person talking to him was the real Kira and would probably alert his captors to that fact. Therefore . . . Higuchi had to die.

His nausea bubbled up inside of him again as the thought echoed around in his read. He would have to kill the crooked businessman. The air suddenly seemed too thin, lacking enough oxygen to satisfy his suddenly starving lungs as he contemplated his decision. It was what he had planned to do all along. That was why there was a piece of the Death Note hidden in his watch. He just had to pull the pin four times and it would be there, ready. Just a harmless little scrap of paper with the ability to send an already captured criminal straight to hell. No. Not hell. Wasn't that what Ryuk had said? Humans who use a Death Note can't go to heaven or hell. Not that heaven really seemed an option for anyone using the notebook, but the clarification was damning.

Not only was he going to kill this man. No, that wasn't enough for the illustrious Kira. He had also destroyed the man's soul and any chance at a normal afterlife. He was a horrible person.

He mumbled something about cross referencing the names in the notebook with the victims to Ryuzaki and turned away a little, only pulling the pin once he was sure the detective couldn't see what he was doing. The sight of the paper was enough to send him into a cold sweat as he picked up the little pin with trembling fingers.

Higuchi had to die to save L. It was a fair trade. No, he mentally berated himself. He had to stop doing that. He had to stop belittling human life, no matter how depraved. Higuchi was a living, breathing person at the moment, not some pawn on a chess board. He couldn't simply reassemble Higuchi in his proper place one he was done playing with him.

Higuchi was doing to _die._ Dead. Real, unglamorous death. And he was going to watch it from the helicopter. He was going to make himself watch it, sensitize himself to watching the man die. He was going to make himself understand just what he had been doing to people.

The prick of the needle against the pad of his finger hurt and he was glad of it. He would consider it the first, miniscule step towards penance. He would never be able to make up for what he'd done, not in a thousand years. But that wouldn't stop him from trying.

_Kyosuke Higuchi_.

Ambitious businessman.

Murderer.

Pawn.

Light closed his eyes for a moment and let the gravity of the situation rest on him. That man was going to die. In forty seconds he would collapse. His heart would stop. The light would go out of his eyes. His soul would leave the body and go . . . where? He imagined the confused specter being turned away from heaven and hell and returning to earth to haunt him.

It wouldn't be unjust.

His grip tightened on the notebook as he kick started his brain. He needed to be the first one to touch the book after Higuchi's death in order to take ownership of it. Ostensibly, he should just keep holding it. In order to do that, he had to keep L distracted, so he dragged him into pointless conversation.

He didn't count the seconds in his head.

When the man on the pavement suddenly made a odd choking sound and keeled over, he forced himself to react like a shocked and amazed bystander. The performance was flawless, he knew that. His skills at deception had been carefully honed over the years. It didn't stop the niggling feeling that ran down his spine telling him that L hadn't bought it.

Would he accuse him now?

He waited for it, tensed for the expected accusation. L was smart, after all. It wouldn't be hard for him to figure it out. How else would Higuchi have died? _He_ was holding the notebook. He would automatically be suspected.

He had no doubt that L would go over the notebook with a fine-toothed comb looking for somewhere he might have slipped Higuchi's name in. He wouldn't find it. The watch was closed up again and he would dispose of the piece of paper as soon as he was able. He would probably flush it next time he went to the bathroom. There was no chance of it being discovered then.

He felt dirty, planning how to hide the evidence of his crime. Dirty? He was filthy. He had to be the most depraved person on the planet. He was a monster.

Somehow, L didn't say anything. He took back the notebook and tucked it between his leg and the seat before he lifted the helicopter off again. L was silent. Light didn't feel much like talking either. He was certain his guilt was oozing out of every pore and conversation would just compound that.

_Stop this, Light._

He needed to stop feeling bad and start thinking. L's life was hanging in the balance and he highly doubted Rem would simply _not_ kill L just because he asked her nicely not to. Rem would protect Misa, whatever the cost and if the thirteen day rule was tested, Misa would be compromised. Rem wasn't the smartest knife in the drawer and would probably panic and kill as many of the task force as she could before she turned into a pile of shinigami . . . dust or goo or whatever happened to them when they died. Therefore, he needed to prevent L from testing the notebook. Somehow.

That wasn't going to be easy. Any steps he took against L to prevent him from playing with the notebook would immediately cast suspicion on him, He would look guilty if he didn't want the notebook thoroughly analyzed. It was frustrating. But this was something he could safely let himself view as a puzzle. He needed to prevent anyone from testing the notebook while at the same time allaying suspicion. It would be a game. A challenge. And in the end, it _would_ save L's life. He was determined not to fail.

He kept his eyes glued to Higuchi's corpse as the helicopter lifted from the ground, unwilling to let himself off so easily by looking away. It wasn't the first body he had seen, but it seemed to weigh on his conscience more than others. More than Raye Penber's. That was the first body he had seen, the first time he had witnessed his own handiwork first hand. A law enforcement officer. Well, he supposed that was a bit of a lie. The very first body would have been parts of that sleazeball on the motorcycle.

Takuo Shibuimaru.

Probably the stupidest criminal he had ever come across. Not only had he tried to perpetuate a rape in the middle of a busy street where anyone could see him, but he also gave his intended victim his name. If Shibuimaru hadn't been planning on killing her, he would have undoubtedly been caught. Light had done the world a favor by taking him out of the picture and saved to police the trouble of trying to track him down.

_I need to stop thinking like that. _

But it was true. He _honestly_ believed that criminals deserved death. He wasn't shy about it. If you broke the law, you deserved to die. It was the only way proper order could be kept in the world. If there were no consequences for bad actions, then the world they lived in would be in chaos.

_Then why are you quitting?_

The question ricocheted around his head for a moment as he considered it. Why was he quitting? Why was he going to cease to be Kira? Why was he going to refuse to write down any more criminal names if he believed they deserved death?

_I'm an inadequate judge. _

He told himself this over and over again. It was true. He was corruptible and therefore unworthy of casting judgment on his fellow man. But it was only a small part of the reason. The much bigger and more blatant reason was that he didn't want L to die. He didn't want Ryuzaki to be killed and he'd set things up so that the only way to proceed was to get rid of him.

He hated himself.

* * *

A/N

Hello, I hope you enjoyed the first chapter of this. Reviews are very much appreciated. Also, this chapter was unbetaed, which isn't unusual for my work, but I was thinking about trying out a beta anyway. So, if anyone would be interested in betaing this piece, just send me a message. You can never have too much input.

Thank you for reading.

Allora


	2. Chapter 2 Speculation

Chapter 2

Speculation

_Something happened in the helicopter. _

L was sure of it. Ninety eight percent sure. Something important had transpired in the helicopter when Light had touched the magic notebook. The boy had screamed after all. And it hadn't sounded like a scream of terror at seeing the monster Rem. It had sounded like he was in pain. And then Higuchi had conveniently died only a few minutes later.

Was it possible that Light was Kira again?

He _knew_ that Light had been Kira. All of the evidence pointed toward him. He fit the profile perfectly. Even Light had claimed to be uncertain of the fact, _asking_ to be incarcerated. Light had been Kira and somehow the killing power had left him.

The Death Note.

Had the shinigami taken it back when it became clear that Light wasn't going to be doing anything exciting for a while? He got the distinct impression that Rem wasn't there as a servant. But he also got the impression that Rem didn't know Light. Either that, or the shinigami was an adequate enough actor to fool him. If Rem wasn't familiar with Light, then it seemed to disprove his suspicions.

There was also that rule they had found in the back of the notebook. If Kira didn't kill another person within thirteen days, he'd die. He'd incarcerated Light and Misa both for _fifty_ days, well over the thirteen day limit and both of them were alive and well.

So that meant . . .

Either he was wrong about Light being Kira, the rule was fake, or Light had discovered some kind of obscure loophole to avoid dying while in detention.

He glanced at Light, sitting next to him on the sofa as the entire task force engaged in staring mutely at Rem. The entire task force except Light and himself. Light's eyes were fixed on the Death Note. As terrifying as the shinigami may be, the _true_ source of Kira's killing power was that nondescript black book. No wonder it had taken them so long to figure it out. Aside from the fact that killing people by simply writing their names down was more than a little bizarre, the murder weapon was something that could have been found in any house, office or school. Who would think twice about someone carrying around a black covered notebook? It wasn't like they were carrying a gun, after all.

Light looked . . . _queasy,_ for lack of a better word. His face was ashen and his body language was slumped in on itself. It looked like he wanted to just curl up into a ball and die somewhere. The fact that Light had let his guard down enough to reveal his vulnerability through his shattered veneer was indicator enough that something was very wrong with the boy.

Light kept toying with his wrist, rubbing his long fingers around the place where they had until so recently been attached. L wondered if the cuff had hurt him, but the skin looked unmarred. So, it was a nervous tic then? In truth, he didn't quite know what to make of Light's behavior.

The boy had always exercised such a strict level of control over his actions, not only his speech, but his body language as well. That that control had failed him was alarming. Was it an act? Was this some kind of ploy designed to trick him somehow? Or had something really broken the teen's spirit?

The thought of anything actually breaking Light was almost inconceivable. Even during his incarceration, Light hadn't let this much slip through his defenses. Even knowing he was the primary suspect of the Kira investigation hadn't rattled him this much. No, the only time it had ever come close to this naked vulnerability was when he'd asked the boy's father to stage his execution. In those few seconds of unpolished, unthinking terror at being faced with his own death, he'd let all of his masks and machinations slip away and L had thought he'd seen the real Light Yagami.

This was the real Light Yagami.

He knew it instinctively. This broken looking young man next to him was what lay beneath the carefully constructed exterior he presented to the world. Granted, L doubted Light was usually this broken up inside.

_Why?_

What had happened in the helicopter?

He wished he'd never relinquished the book over to Light. That had been a very foolish thing to do. Despite the fact that Higuchi had thoroughly confessed to killing people with the notebook and the fact that they had quite conclusively proven that Higuchi was Kira – or a Kira – L still suspected Light. How could he not?

Perhaps it was his own arrogance that wanted to make Light into Kira?

Who else would have been able to elude capture for so long? Who else would have been able to play this game with him? Who else could be the mastermind behind the whole Kira conspiracy? It _had_ to be Light. He had never in his life met anyone else capable of mentally sparring with him like Light did. Light was the only one able to stand against him. He just needed the proof.

"Are you alright, Light-kun? You look ill." L asked in his usual monotone, shrewdly watching for a reaction.

Light blinked slowly and glanced around as though just noticing for the first time where he was. He turned his head slowly and stared at L. It was disconcerting for a moment, then the teen snapped out of it and his facade was back in place, making him look tired and a little frustrated.

"Yeah, I'm alright. I'm just a little disheartened that Higuchi died. Do you think that the notebook kills the user if they get captured?" He suggested, using that incredibly annoying innocent tone that made L want to kick him in the face.

"If that were the case, you would already have died when we imprisoned you." He sniped, not really expecting a reaction. He'd voiced his suspicions of Light too many times and desensitized him to the accusation.

To his surprise, however, Light went a little pale and glanced away. "That again?" He mumbled and drew his knees up to his chest in a manner that was eerily similar to L's own posture. Had he rubbed off on Light? He'd expounded on the benefits of the stance countless times but Light had always rolled his eyes or shook his head and tuned him out.

No, this wasn't an imitation. This was more of an upright fetal position. Light's arms were wrapped tightly around his knees, compacting him into a little ball of upset humanity. This was a comfort position. This was Light trying to comfort himself.

It made L uncomfortable.

He was used to the brash, arrogant teen being . . . well, brash and arrogant. He didn't like seeing Light insecure. It was a marked variation in his behavior that practically screamed at him. He couldn't ignore it but he didn't know whether or not to take advantage of it. He still suspected Light of being Kira. He could use this opportunity to interrogate the teen and hope that he'd slip up.

But that seemed especially cruel and heartless, even for him. After all, Light had probably never seen anyone die in front of him before. His first corpse. Death and seeing people die did strange things to the human psyche. It was possible that was all this was about and pushing on Light now might cause irreparable harm to that beautiful mind of his. That was unacceptable as there was still a two percent chance that Light wasn't Kira.

"Are you sure you are okay? Perhaps you should go to bed. I know how you require your strict eight hours of sleep per night." L pressed. The teen was frighteningly regimented when it came to his sleeping schedule. And it was _way_ past Light's usual bed time. They'd returned from their exciting helicopter chase to meticulously comb through the Death Note and interrogate the shinigami. Not that the creature had proven very useful. She – _it_, as he refused to give it a gender out of spite – had refused to answer most of his questions.

Light glanced over at the clock on the wall uncomprehendingly for a moment before a flicker of surprise crossed his features. " . . . I guess you're right. I didn't realize so much time had passed. I guess I'll . . . um." He said as he stood up and ran his hands over his shirt to get rid of the imaginary wrinkles.

'Um' wasn't a usual resident of Light's prolific vocabulary. The teen always took the time to carefully think through everything he wanted to say before delivering it with crisp confidence. He was also rubbing his wrist again.

"You may rest in the room we used to share or you can commandeer any other room that appeals to your tastes." L said softly, hazarding a guess at the source of Light's current discomfort. Light had never been given his own room at headquarters. Before his incarceration, he had lived at this parents home and afterward, they had shared a room.

Light's lip twitched in the barest approximation of a frown. "You know, it's almost scary how well you know me, Ryuzaki." He said, hiding his gaze behind his hair – another very unusual behavior. Light was vain and liked people to see him. "But not as scary as how well I know you." He added quieter so only he could hear.

What did that mean?

His gaze narrowed as he followed Light's retreating figure with his eyes. What was that? A threat? A hint? Or was he reading too much into it and it was just regular shit talking? Was it supposed to rattle him? He was annoyed by the fact that it had rattled him – just a little.

He was _L_ after all. No one knew him. Not even Watari could predict his actions and the man had practically raised him since he was a child. But if anyone could claim that they really _knew_ him, it had to be Light. He had never had to explain himself to Light - he had never let his paranoia slip far enoug to let the other know what he was think ing- it was just the simple fact that Light thought in the same way as he did.

He pulled his gaze away from Light at the sound of someone shifting uncomfortably. Soichiro was staring after his son with a concerned, pitying expression on his face. He waited until Light was out of earshot before he began making excuses for him.

"Light's . . . never really seen death before. We haven't had a death in the family since he was born." Soichiro explained softly with a worried frown on his lips. "He'll get over it."

Interesting.

L unconsciously recalculated Light's Kira percentage a little higher. He had thought from the beginning that the way Kira killed without hesitation might have spawned from the absence of seeing people die first hand. After all, Kira could kill from a distance. There was no need for him to be present to witness the pitiful sight of the useless casing that had once hosted someone's consciousness and personality. If Light had never seen anyone die before, using the Death Note might have enabled him to kill without desensitizing him to the sight of a body. It was probably what had allowed him to keep his sanity.

But even as he thought this, firming up his suspicions about Light, another part of his mind began the counter-argument. He was ninety-five percent sure that Kira had been on the same train as Raye Penber when he'd died. Ostensibly, Kira would have stuck around to witness the body. So, if Light was Kira, then it wouldn't be the first time he'd witnessed death first hand. So then . . . was it possible Light _wasn't_ Kira? Or did he not remember being Kira? L still liked that theory.

If Light was Kira but didn't remember being Kira, it solved so many of the little, inexplicable discrepancies that punched holes in his theories. It explained how Light could investigate Kira and implicate himself in those periods of time when they tossed theories back and forth to each other. It explained the change that had come over him during his incarceration, the almost oozing innocence that the teen had suddenly adopted. It also explained why a genius like Light would put up with someone as incompatible to him as Misa Amane.

L was so caught up in his thoughts that he barely noticed when the rest of the task force mumbled their goodbyes and retired for the evening a indeterminate amount of time later. He stared at the notebook - an awful weapon of mass murder - and the silent sentinel that stood nearby it, in mute contemplation.

Light was upset. Either something strange and supernatural had happened in the helicopter, or the teen was genuinely disturbed by witnessing Higuchi's death. It didn't matter. The cause of Light's distress was certainly important, but it didn't really affect the appropriate course of action in response. Whether or not Light was Kira, it wasn't prudent to leave him alone in his current state of mind.

He needed to be monitored in case he did something drastic, and security footage just wasn't going to cut it. Light needed to know there was someone close by watching him. If he was Kira, it would apply pressure and hopefully make him slip. If he wasn't then . . . well, maybe he would think of it as comforting.

He pulled out his phone, "Watari, please take the Death Note and put it in the high security vault. Thank you."

It was time to go see Light.

* * *

AN: Thanks very much to my readers and reviewers. I really appreciate your interest in this story. I apologize about there being so little dialog, but L's not really the best conversationalist and Light's not in any frame of mind to chat at the moment. The next chapter is already mostly written and is just waiting for me to go through it again and edit it. It should be up in a few more days.

Thank you very much for reading,

Allora


	3. Chapter 3 Reflection

Chapter 3

Reflection

Light stared at the tiles of the ceiling, counting them again. Fifty two. There were fifty two tiles in this room. It wasn't the first time he'd counted them. Not by a long shot. During the first few weeks of being tethered to L, the insomniac detective's nighttime habits had kept Light from sleeping for more than an hour or two every night. He had counted the ceiling tiles every night for a while.

He had hoped it would be like counting sheep. Mindless enough to force his brain to shut down. Instead it had led to him mentally calculating complex quadratic equations centered around the number fifty two.

This time it was different however. Fifty two. The same number of criminals he had killed on the first day of the Kira plan. It had to be some kind of cosmic joke. Fifty two plain white ceiling tiles. He could picture, superimposed on top of the blank surface, the names and faces of each of those men and women. The first to die.

The first sacrifices to the God of the new world.

He forced his eyes shut, hoping to block out the images his mind was creating. He shouldn't be thinking about them. What he should be doing is trying to muster up a plan to save L's life or sleeping. Not wallowing in his guilt and certainly not doing something as inane as counting the tiles. He had to save Ryuzaki.

Ryuzaki. L. It was _his_ fault Light couldn't sleep anyway. At first, when they had been forced to live together, L's nighttime activities had made it next to impossible to sleep. The most obvious reason being that the detective just _didn't_ sleep. L worked. He claimed that some of his greatest deductions had come to him while working alone in the middle of the night in a sugar induced haze.

When they'd been tethered together, it had frustrated Light to no end. The first night, L had made him get up three times to go get more sweets from the kitchen. After the resulting fight, Ryuzaki had agreed to bring everything he needed for the entirety of the night with him.

He'd thought that simply not being dragged out of bed multiple times would have helped his sleep schedule, but it hadn't. L worked while he tried to sleep. L typed and clicked. The noise of the soft tapping had driven him close to insane. It was, however, better than when L was working with paper. The scratching and shuffling of pages made him grind his teeth. But it was something L had refused to compromise on. He wasn't going to sacrifice eight hours out of his work schedule for the sake of Light's comfort.

Light had been told quite promptly to "Get used to it.". It made him bitter to think now that he _had_ gotten used to it. In fact, it was the absence of Ryuzaki's previously annoying behavior that was robbing him of his sleep. He needed the soft tapping of L's fingers against the keys of his laptop like he needed a lullaby. It was a comforting sound. A steady, constant _tap tap tap_ that soothed him as much as the soft ticking of his watch did.

His watch.

He swallowed nervously as he thought about it. His watch, such an innocuous, innocent object. No one would suspect that he'd hidden a murder weapon inside it. A murder weapon as innocuous and innocent as the casing it was hidden within. He hadn't disposed of that piece of Death Note paper yet.

He should do it right now, while he was thinking of it. Actually, he should have done it as soon as he'd gotten off of Ryuzaki's chain. But he couldn't bring himself to part with it. Not for any sentimental reasons, but because it weighed on him. He could feel it. He was always aware of it. The death he had hidden in his watch.

If anyone found it, it would be all the evidence they would need to convict him of murder. It was dangerous to keep, let alone keep on his person. But he still couldn't let it go. He wanted to remember Higuchi's death. He wanted to remember what he'd done to that man. Perhaps the weight of the guilt on his consciousness would prevent him from taking any more lives in the pursuit of saving L.

That was what really scared him.

As emotionally damning as it had been, killing Higuchi had been easy. He'd been able to justify the man's death to himself far too easily. It was for the sake of L. He would _kill_ for the sake of L. Where had this blind devotion come from? When had he surrendered that much of his autonomy to the detective?

It wasn't that he would kill for L. No, certainly he wouldn't. In a hypothetical situation - because it would never happen in reality - if L asked him to kill someone, he wouldn't do it. He wouldn't kill _for_ L, but he would certainly kill to protect him. He already had.

Nausea was becoming the norm whenever he thought about everything he'd done. It was a byproduct of his massive guilt. Guilt, nausea and a mildly throbbing headache caused by exhaustion.

He wondered if he would have nightmares about what he'd done? In that case, was sleep really something he should be striving for? He couldn't guard himself in his sleep. He couldn't dictate what he let slip and what he didn't. If Watari was reviewing the security footage – like he knew the man would be – he would be able to hear anything he might say in his sleep and play witness to his nightmares.

So maybe he shouldn't sleep. But that meant he had to turn his mind back to more useful pursuits than counting the ceiling tiles and ruminating on the nature of L. He needed to _think_.

He'd already reviewed his possibilities. He couldn't simply ask Ryuzaki nicely not to experiment with the notebook. That would only create suspicion. If he simply let things be, the best case scenario was that L would have a criminal test the notebook for him. Someone who was already slated to die to prove whether or not the thirteen day rule applied. Even allowing that it was a filthy criminal on death row that would be the one writing in the book, it didn't sit well with Light's newly-spawned conscience that the man would lose his entry into hell. He didn't like it that the criminal would lose his soul. The worst case scenario was that L would test the book himself. That was simply unacceptable.

If he told L not to test it, he'd get suspicious. If he let L test it, even ignoring the whole afterlife debacle, it would throw suspicion back onto not only himself, but Misa as well. It was a lose-lose situation. He couldn't win like that.

Did he have to accept that, in order to prevent L's death, his suspicion of being Kira would have to be confirmed? Did he have to lose? If so, that opened up a whole plethora of new paths that he could travel, the most appealing of which included stealing back the Death Note and destroying it. The notebook was a horrible atrocity that should never have been allowed into the human world, let alone to be controlled by a human. The rest of the task force would naturally suspect that he was trying to destroy incriminating evidence. He would damn himself by such an action.

Could he hide from them? Could he outrun, L?

_No._

The answer was so simple, the question barely deserved being thought of. No. Of course he couldn't. L had next to limitless resources. L knew his name and what he looked like. More importantly, L knew how he thought. He could mobilize every police force in the world to hunt for him. And who knew how many more underworld contacts the detective had. How many more people did he have like Wedy and Aiber who were willing to operate on the wrong side of the law for him? He'd have no chance. Optimistically, he estimated he'd last a week before he was apprehended and executed.

Executed.

So that was it. Suicide by cop then.

The nausea twisted into anxious dread. He was going to die. Not that he didn't deserve death for everything that he'd done, but that was beside the point. This wasn't death sneaking up on him. This wasn't an unexpected demise at the hands of nature or some malevolent god. This was Light Yagami _choosing_ his death. This was Kira choosing to die for L.

Could he do that? He was, by no means, a martyr. Even with all that talk about sacrificing his soul for the greater good, he'd never really been a martyr. He'd just wanted to leave his mark on the world. But this was different. Could he really sacrifice himself to save L? There had to be other options. He just couldn't see them.

He thought through every possible course of action he could take, ranging from the bizarre to the plausible, but came up short of anything that would save _both _of their lives. And there was no point in both of them dying. So that meant . . .

_I have to choose. Him or me? No, I can't be so selfish as to sacrifice Ryuzaki to ensure my own survival. It has to be me._

Stealing the notebooks was the best out of the many options and alternatives he'd considered. This way, at least, the notebook would be destroyed. With any luck, he'd be able to get the second notebook from where he'd stashed it and destroy that one too before he was caught. No, not just 'with any luck'. He'd _have_ to get to the second book. Without knowing that both of them were destroyed, there would always be the chance that someone would find it, or that Ryuk would retrieve it and give it to someone else who would create more havoc and cause more deaths.

He would have to destroy them both. Which would mean that he couldn't get caught before obtaining the second notebook. He would have to avoid detection . . .

O_r destroy my pursuers_.

He shuddered as the thought came to him. Why did those thoughts come to him so easily? But it was already too late. An idea of how it could be done had already introduced itself into his mind and evolved three times before he could rein in his wild imaginings and remind himself that he was talking about killing people again. About taking human lives.

He could make the eye deal so he knew their names if they followed him. What was half his lifespan when he was facing execution anyway? Or was that how it worked? By deciding to steal the notebooks, had he already shortened his lifespan? Would halving it ensure his death before he was able to destroy the notes?

_Knock. Knock._

The sound of someone knocking on his door drew him out of his thoughts. It was a very soft, subdued sound. If he hadn't already been awake, he never would have heard it. Frowning, he rose from the bed and padded over to the door.

Ryuzaki stood hunched next to the door, his laptop tucked under his right arm, hands in his pockets. He was gazing down at the floor in front of him, hiding his face behind his hair. He looked almost nervous and Light's eyes zeroed in on his behavior immediately. It was contrived.

"Hey."

He met Ryuzaki's greeting with a blank stare and had the pleasure of watching the detective shift uncomfortably after a moment. "Did you need something?" He asked eventually.

"I was hoping I could work in here. It seems that I've grown used to your presence in the room at night."

Light kept his face completely neutral but internally frowned. A lie. Light was an expert liar and manipulator – much to his shame. The experience had made him reasonably good at spotting a lie. That coupled with living tethered to the detective for the last few months made it easy to tell that L was lying to him.

It seemed he'd come under suspicion already. Not that he really blamed the detective for it. He hadn't, after all, been doing a very good job at hiding just how disturbed he was by his returned memories. In fact, he would have been disappointed in L if he hadn't fallen under suspicion again.

He was tempted to refuse the request simply out of arrogant pride. It had been a long time since he'd been able to deny Ryuzaki something and it would feel good to assert his new found freedom a little. But on the other hand, L was offering him an out. He would be damned if he would go find the detective to ask him to come work in the room so that he could get to sleep. But L had come to him, sacrificing his pride instead.

Light pulled the door open wider, admitting him into the room, but he held out his hand to stop the detective a second later. "No sweets in the bed, L."

Ryuzaki engaged Light in a glaring contest for a moment before he frowned. "Fine." He mumbled and pulled a handful of tinfoil-wrapped chocolates out of his pocket, leaving them on the dresser before he settled in his usual posture on his side of the bed.

Light followed him back to the bed, crawling under the covers and fighting back his content smile as L opened his laptop and began tapping on the keys. He fell asleep remarkably soon after the return of his roommate.

* * *

AN: This story it up over 200 hits! I'm awed and thankful to each and every one of you who read this. Especially to those who left me a review. You've been very encouraging. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Thank you for continuing to read Abdication. You've made my day.

Allora


	4. Chapter 4 Eavesdropping

Chapter 4

Eavesdropping

Light was . . . better, in a way, the next morning. He had slept fitfully and had murmured in his sleep, but hadn't revealed anything incriminating, though shinigami seemed to have featured in his nightmares quite a bit. But nightmares about shinigami weren't enough for him to voice his rekindled suspicion. L considered, for a moment, bluffing and demanding to know why Light was dreaming about being Kira, but he doubted it would work. He'd tried that ploy already once before and he had little expectation that it would work the second time when it had failed the first.

In the morning, Light had regained his cool composure. For all the world, one would think that the emotional trauma he'd experienced the previous day had never happened. But it was more than Light simply regirding himself in confident arrogance that put L ill at ease.

There was a gleam in Light's eyes that had been absent for a long time. It was the gleam of careful consideration. The gleam of contemplation. It was the look Light got in his eyes when he was plotting something. A look he hadn't witnessed since before the teen's incarceration.

_Kira's eyes._

It was devious and L hated it. He'd gotten used to the persona he'd unconsciously called "Innocent-Light". Kira-less Light.

He would have to keep a very close watch on Light from now on. A very close watch indeed.

He slid his chair a little closer under the guise of getting more comfortable and began perusing the data compiled on his laptop while watching Light out of the corner of his eye. Light seemed inordinately interested in where Watari was taking the Death Note after it's cursory examination and photo shoot. He'd photographed every page and both covers for easy referencing.

He'd have to have the book moved. If Light found out where he'd been keeping it, and if Light was Kira, then the notebook was no longer safe in the vault. Would the shinigami be able to retrieve it for him? He knew that the creature could pass through solid objects easily, so if that were the case and if Light could convince Rem to help him, the notebook wouldn't being staying in the vault no matter how many security measures he put in place.

"Kira hasn't killed anyone yet today. I guess we really stopped it!" Matsuda said with his characteristically optimistic naivety, drawing L out of his thoughts.

"No." He said as he lazily dropped a sugar cube into his coffee, "The First Kira is still out there. It's only a matter of time before he strikes again. It's possible Kira is attempting to lull us into a false sense of security. After all, by now the media has alerted the public to the Higuchi incident. Kira possibly thinks he's out of danger and is reluctant to sacrifice the anonymity Higuchi's blunder will bring him."

"But he _can't_ strike again. We have his Death Note." Matsuda persisted.

L sighed, keeping his gaze fastened on his monitor as he answered. "No. I believe there is another Death Note."

"There would have to be. The Second Kira would have had to have had one as well." Soichiro said with a frown. "And _somebody_ killed Higuchi."

"Yes. The notebook we have now is most likely the Second Kira's." L mumbled. "It doesn't fit the First Kira's profile. He wouldn't give up his notebook to anyone. Most likely, the First Kira forced the Second Kira to give their notebook to Higuchi. After all, the Second Kira did pledge to do as Kira said. I wonder . . ." He blinked suddenly and shut up. He couldn't think out loud like that anymore if Light was Kira. It wouldn't do to give his adversary any more of an advantage than he may already have.

"Wonder what?" Matsuda asked.

"You've been remarkably silent, Light-kun. Do you have any thoughts on this matter?" L asked, switching gears completely and trying to throw the boy off guard.

"Maybe Kira got bored of playing god." Light said with a dismissive shrug as he leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms behind his head.

Impossible.

Light had to know that L would reject that theory. It made absolutely no sense. Why would he even suggest it? He'd come to depend on the teen's incredible reasoning ability. To even voice such a proposal was ludicrous. It was something that Matsuda might say, not Light.

"No. That doesn't sound like Kira at all. Kira doesn't give up. To give up would be to accept defeat. I've made this struggle too personal to him. Kira wont stop until I've caught him. And he wants me dead far too much to ever consider quitting."

The boy looked faintly amused for a second before he squashed it under studied nonchalance. L doubted anyone else saw it as his expression didn't change in the slightest. It was just the subtle softening of his eyes. "I suppose." He said with a shrug, his eyes straying back to the security monitors.

A flicker of disappointment flashed across the boy's face at the absence of Watari on any of the monitors. Yes, he was very thankful now that he'd had a secondary security system installed in all of the zones of headquarters that he deemed restricted. There was no need for any of the task force members to have access to the security feed from the basement. Those feeds could only be accessed from Watari's security console or L's personal laptop.

But Light had to know that by now. And if he didn't, he soon would. It wouldn't take a genius to find out that footage from some areas of headquarters was conspicuously absent. All it would take is someone with a little patience and a reason to look. Both of which he knew Light possessed.

_What are you planning, Light?_

Could he really think that he could bypass L's own security measures? Could he really think that he stood a chance at taking back the notebook? That had to be what he was after. Why else would he be so interested? He wanted that notebook.

He had to be Kira.

He stirred his coffee absently as he considered his friend out of the corner of his eye. Was there a viable reason _other _than being Kira for Light to want to take possession of the notebook? He supposed the teen would want to see the notebook destroyed. The Kira case was too important and too close to being finished for their primary piece of evidence to be disposed of. There was also that rule about destroying the notebook. Everyone who had touched it would die.

Would Light be willing to sacrifice them all for the sake of something he thought was right?

Yes.

Of course he would. He was Kira, or at the very least had the same profile as Kira.

And everything he knew about Kira pointed to the fact that he would be willing to kill even those closest to him to obtain his objective or to protect himself. Light had to be Kira and therefore all of their lives hung in the balance. He shouldn't let the boy out of his sight.

Whether he was taking the notebook back to use it or to destroy it, their lives depended on stopping him. Perhaps himself and Watari were the only ones safe from him. To his knowledge, Light still hadn't discovered their true names. But the rest of the task force; Matsuda, Aizawa, Mogi and even Soichiro were all in mortal danger.

Light excused himself to go to the washroom some time late that evening and the shinigami followed him out of the room. It had taken to following them around randomly. At first, he'd thought the thing was bound to the book, but that didn't seem to be the case as it had followed Watari to his security room earlier that morning.

L didn't like the thought of Light and the shinigami alone together. There was so much havoc that creature could cause if Light was able to sweet talk it into doing his bidding. He glanced around at the rest of the room, discovering that most of them had already retired for the evening. Only Mogi was still present and he looked like he was half-dozing in his chair.

Silently, he slipped from his seat and followed after Light. He caught up to them on the second floor, near the bathrooms and hid behind the corner of the stairwell. He listened carefully, putting his hand over his mouth to muffle the sound of his own breathing. Light had stopped walking and was standing in the middle of the hall, facing the shinigami. He had to know that the halls were only monitored visually. It was an ideal place to have a conversation you didn't want overheard.

"Rem." Light said softly, almost a whisper.

"Light Yagami." The shinigami rumbled. "You are speaking to me now?"

"Rem, I need to know, if someone were to try to destroy your notebook, would you do anything to prevent it?" He asked.

Practically a confirmation of L's suspicions. He shifted anxiously. Part of him wanted to rush the teen and restrain him from taking further action, but the other more logical side told him that there was more that Light might confess to. Would he confess to being Kira to the shinigami? No, there was no reason to. Obviously, if he was Kira, the shinigami already knew that.

"You would lose all of your memories of Death Notes and shinigami if the notebook was destroyed." Rem replied.

"That's not what I asked. I asked if you would try to stop me if I destroyed it." Light said impatiently.

"No. It is against our laws to interfere in that manner. Those in possession of the Death Note have the right to destroy it if they wish to."

"Good. So don't interfere. No matter what." Light said darkly.

"Why would I?" Rem asked.

"You're not exactly conventional when it comes to following the rules, are you, Rem? So I'm telling you, just don't get involved. Don't try to help me. Don't interpret anything I do as a signal to you and we should be okay. It'll be over soon."

"What will be over?" The shinigami asked.

Light didn't answer, turning in to the bathroom without another word. The shinigami stayed still for a moment before phasing through the floor. L waited until he was sure that she was gone before stealthily slipping back down the stairs and curling up in his chair.

The impudence with which Light had spoken to the shinigami spoke worlds about their relationship. Light _had_ to know the shinigami from before. Either that or he had absolutely no survival sense. Which L knew for a fact wasn't true. Light knew when and when not to take risks, for the most part. So that meant Light had to be Kira.

And he was planning to destroy the notebook.

It was all he needed to put a trap in place. If he could conclusively prove that Light was Kira, all of this would be over. He would need to catch the teen in the act of trying to kill someone. Simply seeking to destroy the notebook wouldn't be enough proof to convince any fair jury.

He wondered if he let his name slip, if he could govern who at least Light was likely to try to kill. But no, that was a foolish risk. Even with the plan he was cooking up, it would be stupid to reveal his real name to Light. There was no telling what that shinigami would do. Light had suggested that the creature didn't always follow the rules. He didn't know what that meant exactly, but it was enough to put him on edge.

There was nothing more dangerous that someone who was willing to break the rules. They provided an unpredictable hazard that was, more often than not, fatal. Even his little battle of wits with Kira followed an unspoken set of rules. It was understood that this wouldn't stop until one of them was dead. And L didn't intend to be the corpse left at the end of this, whether he was friends with Light or not.

There was no doubt in his mind now that Light was Kira. He was certain of it. One hundred percent.

* * *

AN: Thanks so much to all of my readers. I really appreciate you taking the time to read this. I hope you enjoyed.

Allora


	5. Chapter 5 Infiltration

Chapter 5

Infiltration

He was running out of time. L had already begun tossing around the idea of testing the notebook. Out of all the rules, the thirteen day rule was the most sketchy. He'd hoped that L would be suspicious of it when he'd had Ryuk write it in the notebook. That had been the plan. Have L cause his own death. Curiosity killed the cat after all.

He needed to move quickly. He'd spent three days doing everything he could to find the whereabouts of the notebook an a viable way to access it. It was being kept in a vault in the basement. Not just any vault. It was a vault that L had designed himself, he was almost sure of it.

He'd managed to come across a vague set of blueprints when he'd hacked into Ryuzaki's personal server. That feat had taken quite a bit of patience and ingenuity to accomplish, but he'd managed nonetheless. The blueprints were essentially worthless however. It gave a general outline of what to expect, dimensions of the vault, thickness of it's walls.

Basically, the thing could be hit directly by anything short of a nuke and survive intact. So procuring some explosives and hoping to blow in the door was out of the question – not that he'd really considered that option anyway. For one, where would he have gotten the explosives?

That left either tailing Watari and slipping in next time the old man went in or infiltrating it himself. Both plans had significant flaws. With the first, Light hadn't forgotten the way Watari had handled that sniper rifle in the helicopter. The man was obviously more than a servant and mouthpiece to L. He had combat training. He was probably some sort of elite special ops operative that Ryuzaki had requisitioned for his own use. The chances of getting in and out of the vault with the notebook without the old man noticing were zero. The chances of him being able to subdue the man were about the same. Scrapping with L was one thing, but trying to take down a trained fighter like Watari was something different completely.

Problems with the second option centered solely around his lack of experience. Light was an eighteen year old college student, not a professional infiltrator. In short, he wasn't Wedy. He didn't have the thief's skills. He didn't know the first thing about breaking and entering. He'd never had to rewire a security device to grant him access. He was, however, a genius and there was nothing a genius couldn't do with a little time spent researching. He hoped.

Four days after recovering the notebook, L was starting to lay down a guideline for his tests. Testing the thirteen day rule specifically. He was out of time and he knew he wasn't ready. But a sneakingly suspicious part of his mind told him that given all the time in the world he still probably wouldn't think he was ready. He needed to act now, before L did.

He took advantage of the very next opportunity. At just after five that evening, Watari told them he was going grocery shopping. After L added ice cream and chocolate covered raisins to the list, the man left. It was the opening he needed.

He excused himself to go to the washroom.

His heart was hammering somewhere around the vicinity of his throat with every step he took up the stairs to the second floor bathroom. He'd always liked action movies. James Bond-type spy movies had always been entertaining. But the medium of film failed to accurately portray just how nerve wracking putting one's life on the line really was. Adrenaline was coursing through his system so badly that his hands were shaking.

_Last chance to back out, Light. You could just go back to your computer and pretend none of this happened. You could just pretend this idea never crossed your mind._ _You could just let L die._

No.

Impossible.

It took him fifteen minutes to set up a loop in the security feed on the laptop he'd hidden in a blind spot in the bathroom. Five minutes longer than anticipated. He'd never actually done it before, but he knew the theory inside and out. It shouldn't have taken him that long but it couldn't be helped now. He'd just have to do the rest faster, before L noticed the loop.

Optimistically, he gave himself about another twenty minutes before that happened. L wasn't stupid and he'd take notice if nothing happened on the security feed for a while. In the mean time he had to move.

He left the second floor bathroom at a dead run, taking the stairs three at a time to Watari's security center on the fourth floor. The door was locked, but he'd managed to hack the master codes out of L's personal server. A feat he was a bit proud of. It hadn't been easy, in fact, it had taken several hours, but he'd gotten through in the end.

L thought he was so smart.

He punched in the code with trembling fingers, deliberately slowing himself down so he didn't make a mistake. If he input the wrong code, it would go into lock down mode and send an alert straight to L. Certainly not something he needed at the moment.

He sighed in relief when the code was accepted and pushed open the door only to be greeted with his own face. On the monitor directly opposite the door was a live video feed of his entrance.

_That's foolish. It would have been smarter to not let me know I was being recorded. _

All record of his entrance would have to be erased. It was another set back, but he really couldn't afford to leave evidence behind, and he could be sure that Watari would check the video logs when he got back. The man was just as paranoid as L was.

Light threw himself into the chair and began his work. The sooner he could erase his presence, the sooner he could disable the security in the vault. The sooner he could steal the notebook and seal his fate.

Four minutes to delete the video footage. Seven minutes to break through Watari's defenses and disable the automated security alerts that would be sent to L when he broke in. Eleven minutes. More than half his time was already gone. He needed to hurry.

Making sure to close the door behind him, Light ran to a little-used secondary stairway and began his decent. It wouldn't do for one of the task force members to come across him now. He needed to make an effort not to be seen.

He heard footsteps as he came to the first floor landing and came to an abrupt halt. Someone was on the other side of the door. Had they heard him? He'd been attempting to run as silently as possible, but there was always a chance they'd heard. What could he do?

The footsteps came closer to the door again. Pacing. Someone was pacing on the other side of the door. Were they waiting for him?

_Not good. If someone's out of the command center then it's likely that L has already noticed the loop I fed into the security system. I need to hurry._

As the pacer hadn't busted down the door yet, he assumed he hadn't been overheard and continued down the last flight of stairs at a more sedate, stealthy pace. He couldn't afford to be caught. Not yet. Not until the notebooks were destroyed.

The basement was deserted as always, the steel door of the vault gleaming under the stark, utilitarian lighting of the basement. With sweaty hands, he reached into his pocket and pulled out the small screw driver he'd recovered from the same stash as the laptop on the second floor. He'd managed to steal it from his father's glasses repair kit.

If the schematics that he'd found of the vault and details he'd been able to find from other sources were correct, then it should be small enough to get the faceplate off of the biometric lock beside the door. And then he'd have to hope the wiring wasn't a custom job, because he only knew the basics and he was fairly sure he wasn't going to have the time to waste figuring it out.

He approached the door slowly, his eyes falling briefly on the security camera mounted above the door. It shouldn't be active. That camera was one of the feeds he'd disabled from Watari's computer before coming to the basement. One of the secret security feeds that ran on an entirely different system than the cameras in the more common areas of headquarters.

He was sure he'd deactivated it. Positive. But he couldn't shake a really bad feeling.

_Get a hold of yourself, Light. It's just nerves. There's an excess of adrenaline in your system and it's making you jumpy. Get that door open, get the Death Note and get the hell out. Now!_

He forced himself forward and began taking off the faceplate with the screwdriver, heedless of the fact that he was standing directly in view of the deactivated security camera. It came away less than a minute later, revealing a complex nest of colored wires.

_Not a custom job. Good. _

He pulled two of the wires out immediately, stripping the ends with his fingernails before getting to work. He was conscious, at all times, of the ticking of his watch. It's steady, measured ticks were unfazed by his anxiety and panic. They were relentless, unhesitatingly marching forward towards his imminent capture.

_Tick._

_ L has to know by now._

_ Tick._

_ It wont be long before he makes a move. _

_ Tick._

_ I need to hurry. I need to get this and get out of the building. _

He burned his finger a little as he wrestled a crucial wire into place, and then it was over and the six-inch thick vault door slid open revealing . . .

Nothing.

Or next to nothing.

He wasn't exactly sure what he was expecting from the infamous detective L's vault, but this certainly wasn't it. The room was empty except for an average office desk sitting in the center. And on that desk sat several piles of manila folders and loose sheets of paper. It looked for all the world like it belonged in a corporate office somewhere. It was completely unremarkable in every way except one.

The Death Note sat on top of the pile furthest to the right.

_I did it. I broke into L's vault. He underestimated me. Without time constraints, this would have been easy. Then again, if I hadn't disabled the traps and alarms from Watari's office, I'd probably be dead right now. _

Sighing in relief he grabbed the notebook . . . and froze.

_Impossible! How did he know? Is he really this paranoid?_

A fake! The notebook was a fake! He would bet his life on it. He _knew_ the Death Note intimately. He had spend countless hours with the thing in his hand. The copy was good, but it was still a copy. Completely useless. All of this for nothing.

He knew everything about the Death Note's physical manifestation. But the one thing he'd always noticed, even from the first day he'd picked it up was the texture of the cover. It was like nothing he'd ever felt before. It was dry, but immeasurably smooth. Something not of this world.

But _this_ notebook he held in his hand was not the same. There was nothing extraordinary about it. How much time had L wasted putting this copy together? He bet that it was immaculate. That it would be exactly the same, down to the very last name. Except for the cover. That was impossible to replicate.

He screamed in frustration and threw the notebook back onto the desk, scattering a pile of folders onto the floor.

_How did he know? Did Rem warn him somehow? No, she wouldn't. I told her not to. Did L bug the corridors then? Did he overhear my conversation with Rem? Or did he notice what I was researching when I was supposed to be working on the case? How did he know!_

He clenched his fists angrily. He wanted so very much to punch the detective right now. Just what the hell did he think he was doing? Was he going to have to fight L every step of the way to save his life? Was L going to put as much of a fight up when Light was trying to save his life as when he was trying to kill him?

The infuriating bastard! How did he know that the notebook was in danger?

_It doesn't matter how he knows right now. Get the hell out of there before you're apprehended, you idiot. Retreat and regroup. You can think of something when your ass isn't on the line._

"Damn it!" He snarled before turning away from the desk and exiting the vault. It took two minutes to put the faceplate back on the lock and close the door. Another minute and a half to get back up to the second floor, where he promptly deactivated his loop after checking to make sure the corridors were free of activity.

Then he calmly walked back downstairs to the command center, drawing on every scrap of his determination and self control as he went. He would be damned if he let L know that he'd been beaten. He would find a way to fix this.

_Where would L keep the real notebook?_

"Wow, Light, it took you a while. We were beginning to think you fell in!" Matsuda laughed.

_Where would a paranoid super detective keep the item he believed to be the instrument of his own death?_

"Yeah, I guess I wasn't feeling too well." He answered automatically. L was watching him closely, those dark eyes never straying from him.

_Would he trust someone else with it? Did he give it to Watari?_

"Do you need the rest of the night off, Light-kun? If you are unwell, you should rest." L said guilelessly. A flicker of emotion. The smallest twitch of his lips. Triumph. L knew the vault had been breached. And Light knew . . .

_He would keep it with him. He wouldn't trust that kind of power to anyone but himself._

"Yeah. That sounds good. It's been forever since I've been home."


	6. Chapter 6 Intoxication

Chapter 6

Intoxication

Light had underestimated him. But then again, he had also underestimated Light. He hadn't taken the fake notebook. He'd known it was a fake. Was Light able to sense the killing power in the notebook?

_The second he'd picked it up, he'd known it was a fake. How did he know that?_

L reviewed the security footage again for the hundredth time that hour. He'd had extra cameras on an entirely different system installed in the basement. He'd watched the recorded footage the second he was sure Light had left the building, secluding himself away from the other investigators in his bedroom.

What had tipped Light off?

It hadn't been Rem, the shinigami had remained in the control center, silent and immobile as always. And L _knew_ that notebook was the same - right down to the ripped forty-second page. He'd spent hours meticulously putting the replicas together; making sure it was exact. So how had he known?

Why had Light thrown a temper tantrum instead of taking the notebook with him, or at the very least, writing a name in it?

_He obviously didn't know he was being observed. Light would never lose control like that if he knew he was being watched. Unless it was an act. . . Had he discovered the new security surveillance I had installed? He did pause for a moment when he entered the basement._

He'd sent Mogi out to follow Light. He was certain there was another notebook out there. He was also certain that Light knew where it was. Was he going to retrieve it now?

_Is that the reason he left so easily? I've been trying to get him out of headquarters for days now and he's always been reluctant. What are you up to now, Light?_

His phone vibrated loudly on the desk beside his laptop and he answered it on the first ring, dangling it beside his ear. He didn't say anything.

"Ryuzaki? I'm outside his place now. There's nothing suspicious going on here. He had supper with his mother and sister, I was able to watch through the window. Then he went upstairs to his room and hasn't come out again yet, but I can't see what he's doing in there. It's been almost an hour since he went to his room." Mogi reported, efficiently as ever.

"I see. Hold your position and continue watching for him. I want to know immediately if he leaves the house." He ordered. He didn't trust Light as far as he could throw him.

"Yes, sir." Mogi said crisply, then hesitated. "Er, Ryuzaki?"

"What is it?" L asked tiredly, rubbing at the bridge of his nose.

_Here it comes. An inquisition as to why I'm still having Light watched after officially clearing him of suspicion._

Mogi hesitated for another second on the other end of the phone before sighing loudly. "You're his friend, right?"

"I am." He affirmed. _But that doesn't mean I wont convict him if I can._

"Well, then maybe you should go see him. The kid's pretty messed up still from the Higuchi incident."

"What do you mean?" He asked sharply.

_Light's exhibiting unusual behavior? Why didn't he mention this before!_

"He stopped at a liquor store on his way home. I didn't go in because I was sure he would see me, but he definitely bought something. When he came out, he hid the bottle in his jacket." Mogi said quietly. "I don't think he's the type to usually drown his worries in alcohol, but I don't think he should be alone right now."

L's eyes widened before narrowing into a glare. Light had made a purchase from a liquor store? That didn't fit with Light's profile at all. Light was a control freak. He liked to play god. He wouldn't willingly accept anything into his system that would compromise his control. Something was up.

"I'll go see him now." L said quickly, already rising from his crouch and grabbing his coat. "Wait until I get there and then you can head back. There's no reason for us both to be there."

"Yes, sir."

He hung up and stuffed his feet into his sneakers, barely even registering his own dislike for them before he was running out of his room and down to the car park.

"Watari," He said, staring at the security camera he knew his mentor was monitoring as he paused next to his BMW. "I'm going out. To see Light. If I die tonight, you can be sure that Light _is_ Kira and I trust you to present my findings and see this case closed."

It took him barely fifteen minutes to find his way to the Yagami household. It only took him two minutes to negotiate his entrance into the house with Light's mother. He was Hideki Ryuuga, a classmate from Light's school. There was no reason for her not to let him in.

He liked Light's mother. She seemed . . . nice. Shamefully naive and careless, but nice all the same. He could see how it had been easy for Light to deceive his parents about being Kira. Light was an excellent actor and his parents didn't want to see anything but their consummate perfect son. Sachiko Yagami bowed to him and smiled as she let him in without even asking how he knew Light was home.

She called for Light twice but when he didn't answer, L told her he'd go get him himself. He knew the layout of the house from when he'd put the family under video surveillance, but in order to keep to his cover, he purposely knocked on Light's sister's door. It wouldn't do for the Yagami's to become suspicious, no matter how much he wanted to bolt straight for Light's room.

_Why wouldn't he answer his own mother? Is he still in the house? Did he escape without Mogi seeing him go?_

"Um . . .yes?" Sayu Yagami answered her door hesitantly as she eyed him suspiciously.

"Ah, I was looking for Light. I got the wrong door, I think." He said innocently.

"Yeah, his is next door." She said awkwardly, pointing to the closed door down the hall before closing her door and going back to her interrupted phone call, expounding loudly on just how "weird" her brother's friend who just showed up was.

He knocked on Light's door and waited, unconsciously holding his breath as anxiety welled up in him.

Silence.

He knocked again, his anxiety morphing into full blown panic. "Light?" He called.

No answer.

He tried the handle and found the door locked. Thankfully, he'd learned how to pick a lock from Wedy when he'd worked with her for the first time and he kept a pick disguised as a keychain with him at all times. One never knew when such things would become useful. It took him only a matter of seconds to bypass the lock, then he was rushing into the room only to find . . .

Light.

The teen was sprawled halfway between his chair and his bed. It rather looked like he'd originally been seated in the chair and had decided to transfer himself to the bed at some point only to give up halfway through the maneuver. His upper body was laying sideways across his bed, but his legs were still resting on the chair. Nestled between his elbow and rips was an open bottle of an amber liquid.

L wondered if he'd fallen unconscious, but the teen's eyes were open and he was staring at him.

"Ryuzaki? You missed me already? Or is it that you just don't trust me?" Light asked darkly, his entire countenance exuding malice. L wondered if Light was an angry drunk prone to violent altercations.

But the mood suddenly shifted and Light burst out laughing – real, genuine laughter – and he waved his hand, gesturing for the detective to enter. "Well, since you're here, you might as well join me." He said cheerfully as he raised the bottle. "You ought to like it, it should have a high enough sugar content for you, as it's made of sugarcane." He pushed himself up onto his elbows and kicked the chair L's way.

"You're drinking rum?" L asked, bewildered by the sudden mood change. "Straight?"

Light blinked and glanced down at the bottle in his hand then reached for a small glass sitting beside the bed and filled it. "I guess I am." He said as he raised the glass in cheers and dutifully downed it in one gulp. He winced and cleared his throat before filling the glass again and offering it to L.

L stared at the offering uncomprehendingly for a moment before shaking his head. "I don't drink."

"Then get out." Light said immediately.

"Excuse me?"

"I said, if you're not going to drink with me, you might as well leave." Light hissed, his mood swinging back to anger.

"I'd rather not." L hedged.

"It's not a matter of what you'd rather or rather not do, _L_. This is my house. More than that, this is my room. In this place, I make the rules. I'm the one in control. If you're not going to join me, you have no business being here. I've been at your mercy long enough. It's time for you to be at mine." Light explained in a clipped tone, the shot glass still held out in offering before him.

L frowned and took the glass. Trying to imitate Light, he gulped it down in one and nearly retched it all back up on the floor. It wasn't that he'd never indulged in liquors before, it was simply that he'd never been one for downing unmixed drinks. It burned all the way down his throat and he had to close his eyes against the sudden dizziness that emerged as he felt warmth flood his body.

He opened them again when he heard Light laughing - that same genuine sound that L didn't think he'd heard before that night. Light's laughter had always seemed contrived to him, even "Innocent-Light"'s laughter had always held a note of analytical restraint. But this was simple, unchecked laughter.

"You're face just flushed bright red. Come on, another." Light laughed, holding out his hand for the glass.

L reluctantly handed the glass back and Light once again filled it, swirling it a little before drinking the shot. He immediately filled it again and handed it back to L.

"Why are you doing this, Light? Why the alcohol?" L asked, taking the glass but not drinking it.

Light's gaze immediately darkened to a glare as his gaze zeroed in on the untouched drink. Honestly, the boy's intoxicated mood swings were going to give him whiplash. How was it possible that he could go from carefree and happy to angry and brooding so quickly?

"It just doesn't seem like you. I never pictured you as a drinker." L amended before downing the shot. In this situation, it was best to play Light's game. Mogi was probably long gone by now and if he was thrown out of the house by Light, he'd have to stick around outside until Mogi could get back to replace him. And being present in the room with Light was infinitely better for surveillance than waiting outside the house.

Light snorted disdainfully, "I don't think you know me as well as you think you do, L." He said as he reached over and opened the bottom drawer of his desk, revealing two bottles of sake.

_Those weren't there when I placed video surveillance in the house. They would have been found when the bugs were being planted. Are they new? Did he buy those tonight and place them there to act as props on the chance that I'd show up here?_

"Believe it or not, I did have a social life before this whole thing." Light mumbled, waving his hand between the two of them.

"What thing?" L asked, feigning misunderstanding.

_ Excellent. If I can get him talking about the Kira case, maybe he'll let something slip. He's consumed a lot more alcohol than is prudent for someone keeping dangerous secrets._

Light rolled his eyes. "The Kira case." He said exasperatedly, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Is that what this is about? Are you still upset about the Higuchi incident?" L pressed.

"Of course I'm upset that Higuchi died." Light answered, pouring another drink.

_Yes, he was definitely upset about Higuchi's death, but why? Had that whole incident not gone as planned? Was he grieving for a dead accomplice? Had he hoped to get Higuchi out of that alive? No, Light was the one who had killed him. He shouldn't be upset about Higuchi's death. So, then why? What 's going on here? _

He waited until Light had finished his next drink before leaning forward in his seat. "Light, are you Kira?" He demanded, hoping to throw his opponent off balance in his inebriated state.

Instead, Light chuckled. "You're hoping to interrogate me while I'm under the influence? You ought to know better. Anything I could say would be inadmissible. I could claim that you led me to confess to a crime I didn't commit due to my intoxication."

"Not at all," L countered, "I just realized I hadn't asked you yet today. Are you going to answer?"

"You already know the answer to that question." Light rolled his eyes, slumping back lower against the bed.

_What's this? No denial this time? Yes, I do know the answer, Light. I know that you are Kira. _

"Was that a confession then?" L asked.

"No." Light replied blandly.

L felt a thrill of trepidation race up his spine as he analyzed Light's body language. Despite his relaxed appearance and half-lidded gaze, Light's eyes were still shrewd and calculating. He wasn't nearly as intoxicated as he should be. Nor was he as drunk as he was acting.

"Tonight, we're going to pretend that Kira never existed and we're just going to be two friends sharing a couple of drinks together. Does that sound alright to you?" Light said with a smile. "That means no more interrogations for tonight. That also means that you can stop looking at me like you're scared I'm going to suddenly get up and bludgeon you to death. Okay?"

_You want me to let my guard down? You've got to be joking, Light? You know that I wont. Forget that Kira exists? It was only because I suspected you of being Kira that we became friends in the first place. What game are you playing with me now?_

He'd made a critical error in ever engaging Light in this particular battle of wills. Light had had at least two drinks more than him already, probably more, but still seemed capable of thinking and interacting as he normally did. L on the other hand, could already feel the effects Light's rum was having on him. There was a faint buzzing in the back of his mind and even in his intoxicated state, he could tell that his thought processes were becoming more and more simplistic and sluggish.

_Damn you, Light. But I can't win if I don't play the game, can I?_

If nothing else, Light had proven that he possessed a remarkably high alcohol tolerance.

"That sounds . . . acceptable." L said reluctantly.

"Good. Then have another." Light smirked, holding out the glass again.

It took three more drinks sandwiched between awkward, slurring conversation before Light finally fell silent, sprawled across the bed. L's vision was blurred and he felt a definite wave of dizziness wash over him when he stood up to check on Light's condition. His eyes were closed and he was breathing deeply. Asleep.

_Perfect._

He stumbled over to Light's desk, almost tripping over the leg of the chair and began rifling through Light's things, searching for anything connected to a killer notebook.

_Was the other notebook here? Would he have hidden it in his parents house? I don't think so. That would be too risky since he knows that I've already had people enter the house. Would he have left any clue behind about it's location? Or was the second notebook already destroyed? The shinigami had said that Light would lose his memories if the notebook was destroyed. Was that what had happened when he'd lost his memories the last time? No, how could he have achieved it from where he was being imprisoned. Had Rem helped him?_

"You're snooping."

L nearly jumped out of his skin and whipped around, causing himself to almost overbalance and fall. Light, it seemed, wasn't asleep. He was laying on the bed, sprawled in the same position he'd been a minute ago but his eyes were open and still alert – if a little hazy.

"I'm sorry. I thought you were asleep."

"So it's alright to snoop so long as your host is unconscious?" Light asked. "Funny, I was never taught that. Is that an English custom?" The teen laughed then and shook his head. "You wont find anything incriminating. But, in penance for breaking my trust, I think you should have to finish this." Light said, holding up the almost empty bottle. There was still half an inch in the bottom.

"I don't think that's -"

"You do remember that I said I was the one in control here, right? I make the rules. I say you drink. Otherwise, I will feel absolutely no sympathy in throwing your drunken ass out on the street. Drink." Light ordered, waving the bottle in his direction.

L stared at the bottle in trepidation. If he drank that, he was almost certain that he would vomit. Then again, that might not be such a bad thing. A good round of retching into the toilet might sober him up a bit. And a few sacrifices to his dignity were worth it if he was able to maintain surveillance over Light.

"You're not a very lenient ruler, you know, Light." L grumbled as he took the bottle and brought it to his lips. His only objective in this game was to keep an eye on Light. He'd play the game, accede to Light's whims because it didn't really matter. As long as he was still present, he won. The only way he could lose was if Light kicked him out.

"I never claimed to be." Light replied with a Cheshire-cat grin.

Resigning himself to his fate, L tilted the bottle back and finished the bottle. Yes, he certainly felt nauseous and the room began to tilt at an alarming angle. He stumbled over to his chair and sat down quickly, the bottle slipping from his fingers as he grasped the seat of the chair, desperately hoping to ground himself. Logically, he knew it was impossible for the chair to be wavering like that, but his logic didn't really count for much at that moment when it felt like he was on a dinghy in rough waters.

He closed his eyes and leaned back, forcibly taking big gulps cool of air. It felt like the room had suddenly warmed ten or fifteen degrees. He felt like he was in an inferno. One breath. Another. His entire world narrowed to the simple practice of breathing and Light was forgotten completely until some time later when he felt hands on him.

_Huh? I'm being frisked?_

What was Light doing?

_Oh, yeah. The notebook._

"You didn't think I'd bring it with me here, did you?" He mumbled. "You wont find it, Kira."

The hands froze in their movements and a long, low string of expletives escaped Light's mouth. L didn't think he'd ever heard Light swear even once before today. It seemed the teen had a temper that he preferred to hide.

A moment later, Light left the room. A half a minute after that, L heard the front door close and he forced his heavy limbs to move. He called Mogi and slurringly got him back on Light's tail. Then he called Watari and had him pick him up. The old man wasn't at all impressed with the state he was in.

* * *

AN: Wow! Thanks to everyone who's read and reviewed/favorited/alerted this story. I really appreciate all your support. About this chapter, I hope you don't think it's too out of character. It will be explained in the next chapter. Anyway, thanks so much for reading.

Have a great day!

Allora


	7. Chapter 7 A New Game

Chapter 7

A New Game

Light wasn't sure what the hell he had been thinking when he'd decided to actually partake of the alcohol he'd intended to use as an accelerant to burn Ryuk's notebook. It had been a stupid idea and had nearly cost him everything. He should have known L would show up after he'd noticed Mogi tailing him when he'd come out of the liquor store. And plying L with liquor in hopes of getting his hands on the Death Note had been an even stupider idea, though that one he could at least partially blame on the mind-clouding effects of the alcohol.

In retrospect, he should have just made a break for it and tried to burn the notebook with or without Mogi following him. He would have been caught, but at least one of the notebooks would have been destroyed. And he could always bargain with L and the other investigators to destroy the other one. Couldn't he?

Could he rely on his silver-tongue to persuade them that much? Yes, he was certain that he could do that. L was a mostly rational person after all. With a little persuasion, the detective would be pushing for the destruction of the notebooks too.

He glanced out his bedroom window, wincing as his bleary eyes came into contact with the bright morning sunlight, and noticed Aizawa parked in front of the neighbor's house.

_Honestly, you would think they'd have more respect for my intelligence by now. Am I really not supposed to see him there? Do they really think that after working with the man for the last several months that I would fail to recognize him?_

He sighed. He'd noticed Mogi following him the night before after he'd left the house too. It seemed that he was to be under constant surveillance again. It was annoying and it limited his movements. How was he supposed to win with L's people following him all the time?

_Of course, that's L's plan. Does he mean for me to see them? Probably. If he didn't want me to know I was being watched, he'd probably send someone like Wedy. Is he hoping I'll panic? He's playing a dangerous game if he knows I've already killed Raye Penber for following me. But he should know I don't act without thinking things through first._

The memory of the bottle of rum from the previous evening floated into his mind and he grimaced.

_Okay, so I usually think things through first. What the hell was I thinking last night? There's a reason those bottles of sake I got from Takada for graduation have remained unopened and untouched. I can't afford to risk losing my control even for a second right now. There's too much at stake for that. I guess it's a good thing that I used to practice drinking with some of my classmates to boost my tolerance in order to keep up my perfect facade. There's nothing less attractive than watching your class valedictorian puking his guts out._

So then, what was the next step? How could he destroy the notebooks?

L was obviously on alert now, so it would be next to impossible to steal the notebook. Even if he wanted to attempt another theft, he didn't know where L was keeping it. He could have multiple decoys. In fact, Light would bet that there was more than just one decoy Death Note floating around headquarters.

If he knew L – and he liked to think he did – he would bet that there was a notebook with Watari and L at all times. He may even have trusted some of the other investigators with fakes in order to throw off another attempted theft. L seemed to trust Mogi the most out of all of the Japanese investigators – that is, if L trusted anyone but himself. Would he give a decoy to Mogi? Or possibly the real thing because it would be one of the last places he would look.

_ And speaking of the last place I would look for it. Would he give one to Matsuda? He's gone on the offensive now, so I have to be careful._

But if it was impossible to get his hands on the real Death Note, how was he going to win? How was he going to beat L and destroy the notebooks before the detective decided to test it? It didn't help that L was rushing him by insisting on testing the notebook. He was sure that with enough time and enough careful consideration he'd be able to come up with something that didn't result in his immediate capture. And also something that didn't compromise Misa.

_I can't forget that I also have to protect Misa. L's not the only one who has to come out of this unscathed. But if L keeps investigating, he's bound to find something to incriminate Misa eventually anyway. She's never been the most cautious. If she had been, she wouldn't have been arrested in the first place. So, in order to make sure she gets away with all the murders she commit, I need to control the flow of information. Some how . . ._

Light froze. Was that it? He'd already accepted that he was most likely going to die in this venture. L was on the offensive now and he really couldn't afford to just play defensively right now. He didn't have the time. He needed to act, regardless of the consequences. And really, what were the consequences he was afraid of? What was worse than death?

The only thing that mattered now was protecting L and Misa. It was unfortunate that they were on opposite sides, but he could still win if he put into action this newest plan.

_I wonder if it's smart to be making life or death decisions with a hangover?_

He brushed the thought away. In any case, he was out of time. L was probably back at headquarters writing out his hypotheses and procedures for the experiments he wanted to perform on the Death Note. Light's lips twitched into an amused smirk.

_Or he's nursing a killer hangover._

He chuckled softly as he began dressing for the day and thought about exactly what he would need to do and say. L would assume that he wanted to live - that he would do anything to live - so L would never expect it. It was uncharacteristic. But then again, breaking into L's vault had been uncharacteristic of him as well. He frowned. He still needed to figure out just how L had known that he was going after the Death Note in the vault.

He knew for a fact that the hallway was unbugged. It would make no sense to put listening devices outside of a bathroom. Inside, maybe, but not outside. And yet, L had obviously known that he was going to attempt to steal the notebook. His bet was that L had installed some kind of secret programming onto Light's laptop that had eluded his notice and had caught him in the act of researching how to break into a vault. That was the most reasonable explanation and definitely up L's alley. Given the choice, L would always do something remotely via computer than in person.

_Will L believe this new plan? After all, I have done something like this before. But then, I had always intended to get out of it unscathed. This time I wont be able to escape. Not unless L is a whole lot softer than I think he is. No, I doubt that. He's sworn to do whatever it takes to bring Kira to justice. His entire career's reputation is on the line. Not to mention his ideal of true justice. There's no way he'll just let me get away with it. And if he can't see a means for me to escape, then he's more likely to believe it, isn't he? But there wasn't much of a chance of me getting away last time, either. We'll have to see. And I still have my trump card._

He straightened his tie and went to the bathroom to brush his teeth and fix his hair. There was no point in looking bad for this, even if he felt like he'd been hit by a truck a few times. He wasn't going to bother in making a vow never to drink again, however. He probably wouldn't live that long anyway.

He took public transit downtown and walked to headquarters. The streets were busy like usual and he thought it was strange that he could walk amongst them – probably for the last time – without them knowing who and what he was. He wondered, if they had known, how they would treat him? Would it really matter? So many of the masses were apathetic to the world around them. It was why the world was in such a disgusting state. And many of the rest had approved of what he'd been doing.

_It's pointless thinking about this. I'm not a hero. And I'm certainly not a god._

The command center was quiet when he entered. That usual awkward silence that occurred when everyone was absorbed in their own work. The kind of silence that made you embarrassed when you broke it. Matsuda smiled and waved, revealing the outline of something small and flat hidden under his shirt.

_So he did make multiple copies. I knew he would. And he gave one to Matsuda too. Would L give the real one to Matsuda knowing that he was the one that Light knew L trusted the least?_

Light hesitated. He was certain that he could get the notebook from Matsuda, either through negotiation or force. Matsuda liked him and didn't suspect him in the least. But L knew him too well. L knew that he'd try to exploit their weakest link. Was he using Matsuda as bait then? Did L hope that he'd try to take it from Matsuda?

_It doesn't matter. I can't afford to go chasing after another fake. And even if Matsuda is carrying the real Death Note, I'd probably have to incapacitate him to get my hands on it. As easy to charm as Matsuda is, he wont just let me take something he's been charged with watching over. He might let me see it, but he wont let me take it away from him._

No. He wasn't going to take L's bait. Now was not the time to play L's game. If he'd had more time, if L wasn't pressuring him to act by insisting on testing the notebook, he would probably have indulged L in this new battle of wits. L had to know he was Kira. And Light knew that he knew. This made the game more interesting than it had been when he'd merely been suspected of being Kira. It would have been a challenge, dancing on the edge of Justice's blade, knowing that one single mistake would see him caught.

_All that L needs is a single piece of conclusive evidence against me. He's probably enjoying this. He's probably reveling in the thrill of the hunt. It's a shame that I'll have to bring his fun to an end. He's certainly not going to like this. The only thing worse than losing is when your opponent refuses to play at all. Forfeit doesn't mean victory for the last man standing. Forfeit means that your victory has been taken from you, that you don't get to win._

He paused as Aizawa entered the command center. Apparently he'd been following close behind. He raised a cup of coffee from a nearby shop in one hand in salute to protect his cover and moved to his regular seat.

"Watari, would you please restrain my father for a moment." Light said as he slowly unfastened his watched and set it on the nearest desk. "I have something important to say."

The old man paused in the process of serving L a piece of cake and glanced at his employer. L frowned and spun his seat around to face Light, his eyes narrowing suspiciously. He nodded almost imperceptibly and Watari moved to restrain Light's father, producing a pair of handcuffs from inside his waistcoat.

"I'm terribly sorry about this, old chap." Watari said quietly as he clicked the cuffs around one wrist and gently pulled it behind Soichiro's back.

"What's going on here?" Soichiro demanded. "What's the meaning of this? Light, why -"

_This is it. I've got to play the part perfectly._

". . . I _am_ Kira."

* * *

AN:

Wow! Thanks so much to all my readers. I've had some of the kindest reviews ever! Sorry to leave this one at a cliffhanger, but I needed the continuation of this conversation to take place from L's pov and I hate switching pov's mid-chapter. I hope you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading!

Have a great day!

Allora


	8. Chapter 8 Negotiation

Chapter 8

Negotiation

_"I am Kira."_

The statement seemed to echo in the silent command center. It resounded in L's mind over and over again.

_"I am Kira."_

For a moment no one knew what to do, they were stunned by the sudden admission and each silent second seemed to last for a lifetime as L's thoughts began racing.

"What are you saying, Light?" Soichiro demanded, breaking the spell and L was filled with a sudden, inconsolable rage.

_You goddamned petulant bastard! How dare you take my victory from me! I knew you were Kira. I didn't need you to tell me._

"How dare you!" He snarled as he launched himself off his chair and actually _punched_ Light, his knuckles colliding with Light's face with a satisfying crack. The force of the blow staggered Light and would have sent him to the ground if he hadn't connected with L's knee during his decent.

"Ryuzaki!" Matsuda exclaimed as he rushed forward to restrain the raging detective along with Mogi.

"You think you can throw yourself on my mercy?" L demanded as Aizawa showed enough presence of mind to haul Light to his feet and handcuff him.

Light snorted disdainfully and glanced away. "We both know what the chance of you showing me mercy is, Ryuzaki."

"Then why?" L snarled before taking a deep steadying breath, closing his eyes and ceasing his struggles. Despite the serene facade, his mind was racing.

_Why would he turn himself in? This makes no sense. Light has to be close to killing me by now. Why would he give up the game now? What does he hope to accomplish by this? Nothing. What can he accomplish by turning himself in? _

"I already killed you, L." Light smirked, despite his rapidly swelling cheek and the blood that was trickling from his split lip. "It just wasn't fun anymore."

L's eyes widened in shock. "Then you know my name?"

Light smiled enigmatically but didn't reply. L clenched his fist at his side and fought down the urge to attack the teen again. Light was always the one who began their physical altercations. L was supposed to be the ever-calm, level-headed detective. He was not supposed to resort to violence when things didn't go his way.

L frowned.

_This doesn't add up. If Light was in a position to win, he would take advantage of it. No, if Kira was in a position to win, he would take advantage of it. Was it possible that L had been wrong all this time? Was Light being used?_

"You're covering for the real Kira." L finally surmised.

Light chuckled softly and shook his head. "You know that I'm Kira, L. You've always known. I killed Higuchi so I could take back possession of the Death Note."

"Higuchi's name was never written in the Death Note. I checked every page." L informed him.

Light's eyes traveled slowly, significantly, to the watch he had removed. "Matsuda, pull the pin on that watch four times, please."

L narrowed his eyes.

_Ah. I see what you're doing, Light. You have us all dancing on the palm of your hand. We have all the questions and you have all the answers. I get it. It's about control. You were always such a control freak. _

Matsuda hesitantly picked up the watch and did as he was told. A moment later a small scrap of paper fluttered to the floor in front of him. The investigators all stared at it uncomprehendingly before Matsuda gingerly picked it up between two fingers and read it.

"Kyosuke Higuchi." He read in a disbelieving whisper.

The silence was almost suffocating as all the proof they needed came to light.

"So," L began slowly, "what is it that you want from me then, Light-kun?"

"You can't make a deal with a -a – a terrorist!" Matsuda exclaimed.

"But that's why you turned yourself in, isn't it, Light? There's something you want from me. And the only way to get it was to give me something in return. Right, Light-kun?"

A slow, wide grin spread across Light's lips. "I believe I've said this before, but it's almost scary how well you know me."

"Light! Think about what you're doing!" Soichiro exclaimed. "You can't be Kira. You're my son!"

Light's eyes traveled momentarily to his father before straying back to L. "I'll tell you everything you want to know, L. In return, you're going to destroy the notebooks for me."

"So you can lose all your memories of shinigami and Death Notes?" L demanded and was pleased to see the faint flicker of surprise enter Light's gaze before it was quickly suppressed. "That's what happens when the Death Note is destroyed, isn't it, Rem?"

Light glanced over at the shinigami who was silently creeping closer and closer to the drama unfolding in the command center. "What are you doing, Light Yagami?" She asked in apparent confusion. "You haven't forgotten -"

"No, I haven't forgotten our deal, Rem." Light interrupted firmly.

_Ah, this is interesting. So Light's made a deal with the shinigami. What for? Can they offer more than the shinigami eyes? What's Light bargaining for? _

"Do you want me to kill them?" Rem asked. "Is that what you -"

"For the last damn time, just stay out of this!" Light snarled. "No, I don't want you to kill them. I believe I told you not to interfere. You will lose that which is most precious to you if you do."

"I see." Rem said monotonously before falling into mute silence.

"Rem . . . what is most precious to you?" L asked slowly. But the shinigami didn't respond, instead it simply stared at Light.

"Light, what deal did you make with the shinigami?" L asked.

Light's frustration instantly evaporated and was replaced with the same overbearing confidence he'd exhibited before Rem had been brought into the situation.

_Light's afraid of the shinigami. He's afraid that it will ruin whatever it is he's planning. Maybe if I push him, if I try to interrogate the shinigami, he'll make a slip. Light obviously has some leverage over the creature. If only I knew what was most precious to a god of death._

"I'm not saying any more until you've agreed to my proposal." Light said calmly. "I want the Death Note's destroyed."

"You want us all to die along with you, is that it, Light?" Aizawa demanded.

"You wont die." Light said lazily.

"Then that rule is fake?" L said, jumping on the opportunity.

Light pursed his lips but remained silent.

_Well then, now what? It's my move. If I agree to his terms, then I'm playing right into his hands. I probably have enough to convict him now, especially with Higuchi's name from the watch. But if Light suddenly decides to go on the offensive during his trial, he could punch a lot of holes in the case. I don't intend to catch him just for him to be released after trial. So then, I have no choice. Sometimes I really hate that boy. _

"If you can promise me that we wont die if we destroy it, then I will agree to your terms." L said.

"Rem, what would happen if Ryuzaki burned your Death Note?" Light asked casually as though it weren't a matter of life or death.

"You would lose all of your memories about shinigami and Death Notes." The creature answered monotonously. "And I would have to return to the Shinigami Realm."

"And what would happen to Ryuzaki and the other investigators?" Light prompted.

"Nothing."

"Why would your memories be erased but not ours?" Mogi asked.

"I'm the owner of the Death Note." Light answered arrogantly. "That you were allowed to touch it is of little consequence."

"I see." L murmured. "Then, I will destroy the Death Note for you. On the day your fate is decided in a court of law."

"Of course. Did you think I was trying to stand trial without my memories?" Light asked mockingly.

L frowned. "Aizawa, Mogi, take Light to interrogation room one and wait for me there. Don't take your eyes off him for a second. Watari, release Chief Yagami. I'm sorry, but I think that it's best if you're no longer involved in this case, Yagami-san. Therefore, I'm removing you from the case. You are hereby relieved from your duties and can return to work with the police as usual."

Soichiro stared at him mutely for a moment, utterly defeated, before nodding slowly. "I . . . I understand. But I refuse." He said. "Light is my son. My responsibility. And I will see this through. . . until the very end."

L hesitated. "And you're prepared for what that end will most likely be?"

"I am."

"Dad, you don't have to do this." Light said softly.

"You're wrong. Kira. If I back out now, I wont ever be able to forgive myself. If I put my family above the law, I'd be no better than you." Soichiro said gruffly. "You are no longer my son. As far as I'm concerned, Light Yagami is dead. And I will see you, Kira, pay for destroying him."

Light visibly winced at the harsh words.

_I will break you, Light. And I will know everything. Every single thought and action that you made as Kira. You think playing into my hands will give you control? I'll take that from you too. I'll take everything from you. I will win this._

"Everything in your profile says that you would destroy even your own family if it would ensure the successful completion of your goal. So you can drop this act, Kira."

Light dropped his gaze for a moment before a small, cruel smile spread across his lips. "You _do_ know me well, L."

"Get him out of here." L sighed before turning back to his monitor.

_I will not lose to you, Light._

_

* * *

_AN:

Thanks for reading. I really appreciate it. Don't forget to review!

Have a great day!

Allora


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